The Impossible Affair

16 November 2016, Wednesday

7:20pm. My mobile rings. It’s A2, asking where I was. … What transpired was so endearingly typical of A2 and so amusing I just had to WhatsApp S about it.

Musings

It’s impossible to have an affair when you have four kids that can check up on you anytime, anywhere!

Then again, it’s a privilege to have close relationship with one’s teens, pre-teen and learner-teen.

Earlier on, after school & stayback

4pm+. The kids’ friends I and H visited for a short impromptu playdate. Cos I offered to take them with me when I took A4 to English tuition at LitPlus, and walk them home (nearby) from there. This would give YY a bit of peace and quiet at home, without anymore send-&-pick duties.

The plan for after the playdate was to just send I and H home, and head home right away. So the boys’ pleas to continue their playdate at I and H’s flat were overridden by YY (I and H’s mom) and me. YY’s rationale that there was school the next day stopped all arguments.

So A2 decided to turn back home, instead of walking with us to the busstop. A3 came with us, and then decided to join me on the entire journey. I did phone A2 to let him know the change of plans, but he still preferred to stay home.

~7:18pm. (I remember it was around 7:15-7:18pm only cos we were looking for the 3rd-night super moon, and A3 figured it was too early to spot the moon) It was after all these drop-offs, after the bus ride home, as A3 and I were walking the last stretch home that A2 phoned.

I Can Run, But Cannot Hide

6 August 2016, Saturday

My herd is already between seven and almost-15 years old. Yet, I continue to not have toilet privacy. Within the five to 10 minutes that I was holed up, I’ve been paid not one but two visits. And by the two oldest too!

A1 wanted to know if the hair salon was opened today for her to cut her hair. “Yes. But, this being a Saturday, it may be crowded.”

A2 wanted to know when he could have his escape room-style outing with best friends JQ, J and JW (and maybe another new friend from school) for his belated birthday celebration. “I dunno. Maybe next Saturday? You go arrange and confirm with your friends when they can make it.”

In that short time, two “major” tasks were achieved. The throne’s the best place to make decisions from.

The Famous & the Nameless

29 June 2016, Wednesday

 

A month or so ago, A1 was chosen – after an internal singing competition – to represent her school at an inter-school singing competition. She is fearless about being on stage. Yet, some nights ago, she had a nightmare about no one clapping for her as she stood up after being introduced.

When someone gains fame

At morning assembly in school today, without warning, A1 heard her name over the PA system. She had been zoning out until that moment. Stunned, she obeyed the request for her to stand up, to the sounds of claps and cheers. A teacher had just told the entire school about A1 representing the school this coming Saturday, and encouraged the school to head down to the event to support A1!

A1 was incredulous. Her nightmare was like a premonition, only in real life she received claps and cheers.

However, A1 had wanted to do this competition quietly, without any schoolmates watching. This is no longer to be. Schoolmates kept coming up to her, saying they will be there to support her.

Someone else loses a name

Night. A2 chatted with me. He told me about A1 being introduced at assembly. Thereafter, everyone who saw him either asked him “Are you A1’s brother?”, or referred to / addressed him as “A1’s brother”. A2 jokingly lamented that his name is no longer “A2” but “A1’s brother”!

 

Thrill of the Spill

16 November 2014, Sunday

Every normal Asian mom would have been horrified by me. But I am no normal Asian mom. As my doctor calls me, I’m an oddball.

First real run in the rain

It’s raining. It’s pouring, in fact! At certain points, the downpour rained down with a vengeance. And A2 was with his soccer group, playing in a tournament.

This must be his first really play in the rain. And he looked like he was having fun.

Mommy reactions

Most Asian moms would have worried about their kids falling ill from playing in the rain. I was tempted to join A2. Except that the cold weather from the concurrent rain had made me feel like peeing! I cannot risk getting any colder!

Sweet Meat Up in Smoke

16 September 2014, Tuesday

6:37am. I was about to bite into a succulent slice of bak kwa (BBQed sweet meat) when I was rudely yanked from the tantalising moment.

A2 had barged into our bedroom, exclaiming, “Mom, urgent! I don’t have any PE T-shirt to wear to school today!”

Apparently, a bit of a shoulder seam had come loose on A2’s second PE T-shirt, and it had been put aside for Mom to sew at a later date. And his other one is in the wash.

Bye bye fattening dream, hello another day of helter skelter!

Postscript:

If you have not guessed by now, I was about to bite into that slice of bak kwa … In my dream!

And in the end, the easiest solution to A2’s problem was to have him wear one of A3’s two PE T-shirts. Never mind the wrong-coloured name tag, never mind the wrong name!


Image of bak kwa from Bee Cheng Hiang.

Pray!

13 September 2014, Saturday

All my kids talk in their sleep. Some more often and more than others. Today, one vocal-in-sleep boy said just one word so singularly profound!

I had been baking belated Teachers’ Day cookies since Friday night. Completed around 2:33am (Saturday now). After showering, I was too awake for sleep. So, I began doing some work on the laptop … until maybe 5am, when I was starting to type nonsense. Time to sleep.

But earlier, before 4am, A2 said something. I couldn’t make out what he said. After some time, at 4:07am, A2 stirred and blurted out the most meaningful word for me in that moment of solitude.

“Pray.”

When Retail Isn’t Therapy

9 June 2014, Monday

Finally purchased the digital drums set for the boys to begin private drums lessons come July with A3’s inspiring first drums teacher.

The trouble with this purchase

Brand new purchases are supposed to be fun and exciting. But this one’s a big-ticket item at SGD1,049; and there’s always that fear that the kids will lose interest or act up till lessons get cancelled (It’s like childhood all over again, except this time we’re at the paying end). And the worse thing was the purchase process was wrought with … well, let’s just say distractions. My WhatsApp messages to S says it all.

Drumming it up

Deed done at 6:15pm with a lot of grief!

While at Cristofori paying, they were all driving me nuts!

A2: Mommy, it’s my turn.
A3: But mommy, A2 doesn’t want to let me play.
A4: Mommy, A3 pushed my head down; it’s very pain.

Facing the music of past hoardings

Then there is the addition pain of clearing out and cleaning up our upstairs study to accommodate the new “furniture” (drums).

All for this moment

Now, maybe the delivery next Tuesday night will be a more peaceful and enjoyable time.

Image of MUZA DD512 courtesy of Cristofori

Another Promotion, Affirmation

15 May 2014, Thursday

A2 came home after after-school band practice. He elatedly announced to me that he’s now a trumpet-player (He was a corner-player this far).

I asked him why the change of instrument. He wasn’t entirely sure, but supposed it’s cos the juniors have moved up to join them, so there are enough cornet-players but not enough trumpeters (now that the current P6s have officially stopped all CCAs to focus on the all-important PSLE), hence he’s been “promoted” to play the trumpet.

I asked him the difference between the two instruments, and he explained that there isn’t much difference except that trumpets have a higher pitch. He sure knows his stuff; worthy of his role as an Assistant Brass Section Leader.

I am so proud of A2, of how far he has come, of how much he has achieved.

From Music to Maths

Another piece of news A2 shared a while later was his Semester Assessment 1 (aka mid-year exam) Maths results.

On Monday or Wednesday (seem to recall Wednesday), A2 came back with the Paper 1 results. 32.5/40. … Today, the Paper 2 results. 55/60. … That makes 87.5% for Maths!

Once again, A2 shines.

Post script

I think 16 May 2014, Friday

Apparently, A2 was mistaken about his Maths scores. He told me 55 is actually his total score.

Guess it’s best I don’t take anything as final till I actually see the papers and/or grades for myself. But the biggest thing for me here was the fact that he sounded a little sad or disappointed about having to give me bad news. I saw it in his face, in his eyes. So I know he is trying, or at least wants to try. That, for me, is part of the battle won. Now, I just have to see where his weakness lies and try to help him from there.

From Badminton to Basketball

24 April 2014, Thursday

I have never been one for sports (unless it is dance sport like Zumba). Consequently, I have never consciously created sporting opportunities for the kids (apart from one-off free or cheap trials).

Starting sports

It wasn’t till of late (Around perhaps February) that opportunities to take up sports lessons presented themselves in the most convenient of ways (Weekend, meaning more help chauffeuring the kids; nearby, meaning walking distance) that I was game enough to load my already-packed-to-the-brim schedule with badminton for A3 and soccer for A2.

A3 now does private group badminton in the school hall on Saturday mornings; while A2 soccer Sunday afternoons under a church’s community outreach programme, joined by his best and close friends from school.

Pre-playground drama

Today, A3 wanted to play at the exercise playground. I promised him 10mins of play there when we take A2 to Science tuition in the next block. A4 insisted on coming along.

7pm or just a tiny bit past 7pm. Leaving for our destinations, A4 asked to bring along her scooter. A3 began hunting for his pink (Yes, pink!) soccer ball. A2 was running late (cos I wanted to finish up making a dress for A4’s Barbie doll), so A2, A4 and I left first.

A2 at Science tuition, A4 and I went to the exercise playground. Soon A3 arrived with A1, bringing two badminton rackets and a shuttlecock with them. I am guessing A3 couldn’t locate the pink soccer ball in the mass (mess) of toys at home.

Adventure badminton

Around 7:05pm or 7:10pm. Barely into play, the shuttlecock got lodged up in a tree. A1 and A3 began taking turns to fling their old racket up into the tree to dislodge the shuttlecock. After a few tries, just as A1 (or A3) mentioned the idea of losing the racket in the tree, the racket got lost in the tree! Roaring laughter ensued, as you can imagine.

Brick-hard slipper trial

A3 (or A1) suggested rope. I suggested basketball. A1 asked A3 for both objects. As A3 began running home to retrieve them, he paused to watch me try to dislodge the lost items with the right side of my solid chunky slippers. Alas! I was too short to make the slipper hit the target area with full impact. A3 ran home.

Mission basketball

A3 back with the basketball, A1 and A3 tried aiming it at the branches holding on to their items. A1 succeeded at dislodging the racket. … A3 noticed that a string or two had come loose, but A1 said that had always been so. … The shuttlecock was a little more tricky. A1 managed only to shift it a little in the tree, I think along the same branch.

Feeling optimistic, I had to have a go. Surprisingly, I aimed good! One shot was all it took!

It was now around 7:15pm.

Cramming sports

For a group of people unaccustomed to sports. We sure went through more sports in 10 minutes than we ever have in our lifetime!

Wisely, A1 and A3 adjourned to the nearby basketball court to commence their game of badminton.

A4 tagged along with her scooter. I was left to babysit A3’s badminton racket cover and the kids’ basketball.

Love Unspoken

15 April 2014, Tuesday

Had breakfast with three close friends (DO, YY and MC) from the kids’ kindy and primary school. We had a great long morning. Parting began only as one by one of us had to leave for various schools to pick our respective kids.

We were down to just one friend DO and I when she received a call to pick one of her twins early from school. I didn’t have any kid to pick up then, so she gave me a lift home on her way.

Love unspoken spotted

As I alighted from her car, YY (the second friend to have taken leave from our gathering) WhatsApped me from our kids’ primary school. (See her message appended at the end of this blog entry)

Apparently, our younger boy was spotted kneeling down to help his older brother tie his shoelace which had come undone.

Sibling love exists

Like all siblings, our boys (in fact all four of our kids) play together and fight each other all the time. And like all parents, I wish they’d just get along and save me the trouble of fighting with them to stop fighting and of worrying about the state of their sibling relations. … But moments like this today give me a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. Our boys love each other after all.

Our four love one another after all!